Fic: Seamen Extraordinaire

Jasper and Emmett take to the water in...

Seamen extraordinaire

A tale of tight canals, sand-filled crevices, and vampires with little to do but each other.

A/N: This bit of fun was written for Twilighted's Friday Free For All. It is crackfic slash (Jasper/Emmett) and full of NC-17 vampire fun.

Many thanks to ArcadianMaggie and Theladyingrey42 for prereading and TwilightMundi for betaing.

Disclaimer: All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, Little, Brown, et. al. No profit was made and no copyright infringement is intended.

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Jasper broke through the surface of the water and shook his head to free it from various bits of seaweed that had collected in his messy hair. Once he was free of ocean flora, he set about removing some of the sand that had collected in his swimming shorts. When that was accomplished, he finally looked around and took stock of the remaining members of his coven.

He spotted Rosalie and Alice quickly. They weren't far away, and were splashing a good deal as they finished emulating the swimming patterns of a nearby dolphin population before moving on to reenacting scenes from The Little Mermaid. He could tell there was some sort of competition going on having to do with the exact angle and height with which they burst out of the water to land on a large rock whilst tossing their hair back and poking their breasts out, breasts which they'd covered (barely) with brightly colored shells.

He hated to break it to them, but he saw no point in their Ariel-emulation. After all, Eric was the only one worth watching in that movie, wasn't he? Such a stud. And he was always blowing the flute. That was just Symbolism 101.

Jasper took a moment to recall how the seagull had rubbed Eric's foot all over its face.

He adjusted his shorts again as he bounced along in the waves. That shit was hot.

Jasper had no desire to get closer to the beach, where Esme was sunbathing with Carlisle beside her, reading back issues of his favorite medical journal. But his desire to stay out at sea was mostly due to Edward, who was driving Jasper crazy.

Fic: How Could it Not Have Been?

How Could it Not Have Been?

A/N: Temptation comes in many forms. Carlisle's thoughts to his newborn mind-reader. Vampires. Carlisle/Edward slash. Canon. Rated R. 

This bit of flash fiction was originally written for the Twilight No Stress Love Fest. Thanks so much to those who ran it! And thanks to my beta, TwilightMundi, and pre-readers Missyfits and ArcadianMaggie, for their assistance.


Disclaimer: All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, Little, Brown, et. al. No profit was made and no copyright infringement is intended.

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February 1919

I...I'm sorry, Edward. I should have better prepared you. Indeed, how could you have known?


And yet, how could it not have been so?


What choice had the young woman in the presence of one such as you?


Edward, I was foolish not to have cautioned you to the reaction the woman—any woman, and truly, any honest man—would have in light of your new-found grace and eternal beauty. Such physical glory is bestowed upon any pressed into the ranks of immortal death, but yours...Well, it transcends any I have yet encountered. How could she not have reacted as such?


Did you not also notice her widened pupils? The slight catch in her breath as she first caught the pallor of your flesh, the breadth of your shoulders? Her cheeks staining crimson as she observed the red of your lips, the exceeding strength of your jaw, the narrowness of your waist?


Certainly, it was to be expected, the way her heart would sputter then race in your presence, the organ announcing itself, unaware that drawing the attention of one so new to this life was a foolhardy aim indeed.

Fic: Silent Night

Silent Night

A/N: This was written during the 2010 Christmas season.
Wishing you endless days filled with love, past and present, and quiet peace.

Vampires, Edward/Jasper slash. Rated R.

Thanks so much to Theladyingrey42 for pre-reading and TwilightMundi for betaing.

Disclaimer: All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, Little, Brown, et. al. No profit was made and no copyright infringement is intended. "Silent Night" was written by Joseph Mohr.

---

-oOo-

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace

-oOo-

The room is silent, heavy, and thoroughly haunted by ghosts of Christmases past.

It is warm—almost too warm—and lit by spicy candles that flicker in the darkness.

I sit staring at the decorated pine in the corner, its scent bringing the forest into our home.

Unable to shed tears, I instead squint at the tree, willing the image to blur and distort with minimal success.

I am alone in our space, surrounded by the things we'd accumulated as we'd built our life together. These items, this life, it is usually enough.

No, it is always enough.

But nor is it everything.

Fic: Bella's Drinking Problem

Bella's drinking problem

A/N: Newbie vamp Bella has an itty-bitty problem: She just isn't in touch with her new body's needs. Can Edward help her find the instinct within? Originally written for the "There will be blood contest." Rated NC-17. Edward/Bella.

Many thanks to TwilightMundi and Mrs. Agget for betaing.


Disclaimer: All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, Little, Brown, et. al. No profit was made and no copyright infringement is intended.

---

"Edward, I'm so thiiiirsty," Bella whined.

I sighed. "I know. We'll figure this out," I told her, pressing her against my body as we lay together on my bed.

But honestly, I wasn't sure what to do. None of us were. We expected Bella to have the same basic characteristics as all newborn vampires. I suppose we should have known better. As a human, she constantly surprised me with her actions, and I loved her for it. Apparently this held true for her vampire self as well.
Even Jasper, who had dealt with a thousand newborns, had never seen the likes of her.

Just the thought of it was insane: A vampire who was disgusted by the thought of blood.

Fic: Seven Drops of Rain

Seven Drops of Rain

A/N: Two vampires in love celebrating a birthday of their own. A little drabble arc in honor of OnTheTurningAway's birthday. Vampire Jasper/Edward, slash, Rated R.

Thanks to TwilightMundi for her beta work on this and ArcadianMaggie for holding my hand.

Disclaimer: All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, Little, Brown, et. al. No profit was made and no copyright infringement is intended.

---

We stood it in the thick, dark, damp, green forest of Mt. Rainier. Mist threatened at the periphery of our vision, the smell of deep earth weighed heavily in our noses.

But it was just 'we.' There was no high school, no family, certainly no pretending, no disguises.

This day was ours.

Warm rain poured down, collecting on the limbs and leaves above and dripping heavily on us.

It did not matter. This day was ours.

Fic: Instructions for Bare Hunting

Instructions for Bare Hunting

A/N: Emmett/Jasper slashy crackfic. Rated NC-17. If that's not your thing, please don't read. 

This one-shot was written for the Plot Bunny Contest (www.fanfiction.net/community/PlotBunnyContest/82048/).

Many thanks to TwilightMundi for betaing!

Disclaimer: All Twilight characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, Little, Brown, et. al. No profit was made and no copyright infringement is intended.

---

"Shit," I muttered. "Not again."

I twisted shut the blue nail polish. "Shit," I said again.

I closed my eyes and paid little attention to the sound of footsteps suddenly hurrying toward me.

xXxXx

"No fuckin' way," Emmett bellowed as he and Jasper ran through the forest. "I'm more manly."

"You wish," Jasper teased, grinning. "You fucking wept like a girl. 'Oh boohoo, Frodo dies, time to cry all over myself.' For god's sake, every fuckin' time."

"It takes a real man to cry. You should know that, Emo boy," Emmett shot back. "Besides, just look at me. Clearly, I'm all man. I am a thing of beauty. Fucking exquisite. Just look at these muscles."

Emmett paused then as the pair of vampires picked up the scent of prey in the distance. They turned to the east in unison to follow the smell and Emmett continued his argument.

"And, I'm not just talking biceps. Every muscle in this gorgeous bod is twice the size and far more beautiful than yours, little bro."

"Except your brain," Jasper countered. "I bet the venom didn't know what to do when it got to your fat head since there was nothin' there to burn."